I feel like I'll never "heal" from this, because there are so many symptoms and types of aches / pains / discomforts that are still the exactly same things I had a year ago. Why are they not getting better? I don't know.
All I do know is that a year in, I've at least found ways to take advantage of some good hours sometimes and get more things done, but once again I have to be very selective about it. The other day I played this browser game for an hour and I made my screen a little brighter, and that horrible dizziness feeling was sooo bad after. I had actually forgotten how bad it used to be, how horribly "agitating" and intense it is, ugh. It put me in the worst state of mind so quickly.
As long as I stay a vampire hermit and keep my screens dim, I can keep surviving, for now... but I can't have my life be like this forever.
at
March 09, 2025
So up until like a week ago, my muscle tremors (the resting ones) finally became "quieter" for about a month, often being so mild that I'd even forget about them. Except a week ago they got worse again. Not to the point that they were before (they were very "loud" and piercing for months) but they're sort of at like 40% of that. Anyway, it's fine, it just feels like a setback. Like I clearly messed with my neck the wrong way and made things a little worse again... I just don't know what I did, as usual.
at
March 03, 2025
My dad made me go to a chiropractor a little over a month ago, and I went there twice. I'm not sure if it made any difference or if it made anything worse, etc.
However, the past two weeks for me have been a bit rough. My neck aches and pains are a bit agitating lately, mostly in the evenings, and I've been trying to poke and prod at my neck to find the really painful spots and try to massage them out maybe (I have no idea if this would help or do harm). Now for the past two weeks my dizziness has been BAD AGAIN! I feel like I had a prtty OK two months where I can actually function using a computer as long as my computer brightness was the lowest. Now, I had to download programs on both of my computers to dim the screen beyond the lowest dimmed option. Sometimes even that still "hurts" to look at. It feels like a big setback.
I have a huge collection of all sorts of reddit posts that match my experiences the closest, and it's usually someone with a neck injury, whiplash, or concussion stuff. It made me sad reading about how some people had symptoms for 6 years now and I REALLY don't think I could mentally survive 6 years of this to be honest. I'm one year in now and I already feel like it has mentally made me a ghost of the person I used to be.
However, the past two weeks for me have been a bit rough. My neck aches and pains are a bit agitating lately, mostly in the evenings, and I've been trying to poke and prod at my neck to find the really painful spots and try to massage them out maybe (I have no idea if this would help or do harm). Now for the past two weeks my dizziness has been BAD AGAIN! I feel like I had a prtty OK two months where I can actually function using a computer as long as my computer brightness was the lowest. Now, I had to download programs on both of my computers to dim the screen beyond the lowest dimmed option. Sometimes even that still "hurts" to look at. It feels like a big setback.
I have a huge collection of all sorts of reddit posts that match my experiences the closest, and it's usually someone with a neck injury, whiplash, or concussion stuff. It made me sad reading about how some people had symptoms for 6 years now and I REALLY don't think I could mentally survive 6 years of this to be honest. I'm one year in now and I already feel like it has mentally made me a ghost of the person I used to be.
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