I'm just in a bad mood so I'll make it quick. In the last week, things got bad again (maybe I agitated something with some exercises I was trying, idk) and walking became torture again. It just causes horrible feelings and agitations all related to my neck and occipitals. I get this horrible feeling that I now call "the death feeling" which literally feels so unexplainably terrible and it feels like I could just die at any moment - the most I had it was last December. This past week it got pretty bad and it hasn't been this bad since December. So yeah I can't walk much for now. Even if I try to walk pretty slow, things might still get so bad that I literlly feel like I'm going to explode from agitation.
I still have the "itchiness" in my "muscles" (mostly spine area) but it's calmed down a bit in my back. Still there, but it gets mostly bad in my neck area now.
Not sure if I mentioned the "bubbly" sensations in my back, started about 3 months ago or more. I had a theory that maybe my heating pad thing started causing that since the heating pad gets smushed onto my back as I lay down, or anther theory that the bubbles are just from laying down too much? I often feel it the most after getting up from laying down, or breathing in. It feels like bubbles kind of go through my back muscles - sometimes only my right side. I couldn't find much online. Some people had similar stuff. Other people had something like it but inside the spine, which is not what I have.
I still have the resting tremors that started in September - they only calmed down during long periods of me not doing much for weeks, but since I'm most active now in the summer, they're back (along with the buzzing feeling throughout my body).
My neck and occipitals are so achey. My dizziness hasn't been great lately - a lot of having to dim my screens again. Same with the light sensitivity.
It never ends.
Oh and my Doctor didn't wanna give me a referral to the Rheumatologist - he says they don't even give out a Fibromyalgia diagnosis and once again he pushed the pain clinic at me to discuss pain injections. I thought I could go to the pain clinic just to get some opinion on my symptoms, but once I had the appointment, I got a call from the clinic being all "you know we focus mostly on the pain injections, right?" Uh. Okay I didn't wanna waste my time or energy so I just cancelled that.
I think I'd like to see a "Physiatrist" (not to be misread as Psychiatrist) because at the very least I'd love to get some sort of specialist to tell me if I should rule out neck injury or not.
Anyway, I'm at the point where my business is no longer doing too well and I'm actually losing money every month now, so I'm starting to even wonder what my future could look like if I can't do much physical work and I can't do much computer work. But I really don't wanna lose my home because I love it, but the rent is so high. I feel like the thought of this just "slowly healing over time" kind of kept me going for a while, thinking I could get my life back eventually, but lately I don't feel like that will happen any time soon, or ever again.
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