at
January 02, 2026
Oerall things have sort of been the same-ish for the last few months but this past week my muscles flared up worse than they have in while. I have so many aches in my back, shoulders, and my occipitals are still hurting. Lots of pains when I poke into my neck (not sure if those ever went away). My tremors, spasms, and itchiness got really bad - it's been so long since it's been this bad. It's so distracting because it's like I got a bunch of mosquito bites deep in my muscles. I also got shooting pains in my neck again while trying to fall asleep so I had to take advil to bed again - been a while since that happened. So yeah, I'm just annoyed and not very productive lately.
at
November 24, 2025
Still sort of the same! Although I ruined my back for two weeks, and then my legs again for a week. I think maybe I'm just doing too much stuff all at once considering I just spent over a year mostly being in my bed. So yeah I have to gain all my strength and muscles back.
The dizziness is super bad lately but I've gotten a bit better at just.. accepting it? It's a little less "agitating" than before so maybe my brain is actually adjusting to being less triggered by it? I don't know. I really hope it doesn't take 6 years for that to go away.
And yeah my occipitals, especially the back right one that's been problematic for ages now, basically act up every 3 days or so and I have to keep massaing that area. If it gets too bad then I can barely walk since it shoots pains into m brain. But it's been a while since it got THAT bad, so for now I'm keeping the routine of massaging every few days once it starts shooting a bit of pains at me again.
The dizziness is super bad lately but I've gotten a bit better at just.. accepting it? It's a little less "agitating" than before so maybe my brain is actually adjusting to being less triggered by it? I don't know. I really hope it doesn't take 6 years for that to go away.
And yeah my occipitals, especially the back right one that's been problematic for ages now, basically act up every 3 days or so and I have to keep massaing that area. If it gets too bad then I can barely walk since it shoots pains into m brain. But it's been a while since it got THAT bad, so for now I'm keeping the routine of massaging every few days once it starts shooting a bit of pains at me again.
at
October 22, 2025
I've been mostly the same for the past few weeks, which is good news to me because I'm still able to walk around without being in any pain and torture. So I've been doing a lot! So much that I kinda of messed up my legs the past week and they started hurting so much. They're still achey even when I rested for a few days. My neck and muscles still have problems but hopefully I can work on it through massage. The suboccipitals at the back of my head on the right side are still problematic a little bit - I think maybe for a year now - so I don't expect them to heal overnight. But every now and then they still shoot pains at me or agigate me in weird ways, and then I try massaging them, which often triggers them a bit and I'm not sure if it's good or bad.
at
September 28, 2025
Things have been overwhelming lately, but I've been physically able to do a lot more! I decided to have guests over at my apartment for a "girls hangout" and I haven't had guests over in like over a year so this was HUGE to me. I finally had to do more of a "deep clean" in my apartment which I've been wanting to do for so long but just couldn't. It was a lot of work, I was quite physically exhausted, and I didn't do as deep of a clean as I had hoped but it was super close and I'm so happy about it. Having a clean home feels so good.
I still don't feel anywhere near ready to try to "get a job" somewhere, but I do need more plans in my life to get out more now that I can. Maybe I'll volunteer somewhere. We'll see. I'm hoping I don't get any major setbacks again soon.
I still don't feel anywhere near ready to try to "get a job" somewhere, but I do need more plans in my life to get out more now that I can. Maybe I'll volunteer somewhere. We'll see. I'm hoping I don't get any major setbacks again soon.
at
September 16, 2025
I'm trying to arrange some sort of "deep tissue" massage for my neck. So far I keep getting ignored. :/
Also I switched doctors and she wanted to check my thyroid. Through the blood test we discovered my cholesterol is at astronomical levela and I likely have Familial Hypercholesterolemia. I had to change my diet overnight and I'll likely start on meds like statins soon, which sucks, because I'm already dealing with so many symptoms and the meds can ruin my neck "healing" progress - one of the potential side effects of the meds is actual muscle damage. And figuring out my new food plan and having to cook more is EXHAUSTING. I'm just so tired, I actually fantasize just moving in with my parents or grandma and just starting my life over in a way. Idk. I'm spending an insane amount of money on bills every month just to "live downtown Toronto" and I barely leave my house or bed, and now I'm making no money because of USA tarifs.
I just feel like I'm wasting my life away in so many ways right now.
Also I switched doctors and she wanted to check my thyroid. Through the blood test we discovered my cholesterol is at astronomical levela and I likely have Familial Hypercholesterolemia. I had to change my diet overnight and I'll likely start on meds like statins soon, which sucks, because I'm already dealing with so many symptoms and the meds can ruin my neck "healing" progress - one of the potential side effects of the meds is actual muscle damage. And figuring out my new food plan and having to cook more is EXHAUSTING. I'm just so tired, I actually fantasize just moving in with my parents or grandma and just starting my life over in a way. Idk. I'm spending an insane amount of money on bills every month just to "live downtown Toronto" and I barely leave my house or bed, and now I'm making no money because of USA tarifs.
I just feel like I'm wasting my life away in so many ways right now.
at
September 01, 2025
I'm finally a bit better in the past week. I can function way more and actually walk around more. I still rest a few times a day because I don't want to "overdo" anything by being upright the entire day. But I'm glad I can do more chores and clean more. I do want to exercise more beause I've lost all my muscle and gained a little bit of weight, but I'm also kinda scared because it's possible that my exercises sessions could have been hwat triggered my recent setback. But I don't know. Just gonna take things slow, again. Such a slow process...
at
August 26, 2025
I think the "worst" is over when it comes to this new flareup/setback because I can finally walk more without wanting to die. The other day I could even sort of function until 5pm but then I still get all sorts of aches, tension and "deep itchiness" in all the muscles of the back of my head, and my neck and shoulders are really bad right now too. So I still have to keep going back into my bed or else once I've hit the "limit" of it, it starts to get really uncomfortable, shooting pains at me, and I start to feel that unberable agitation start to creep up. Usually being in bed can sort of "recharge" my muscles and let me be upright again for a while. Also I cut out caffeine because I feel like it makes the dizziness worse and I feel more panic attacks creeping up? Maybe. Alhough now I get intense afternoon fatigue where I feel like I'm falling asleep with my eyes open. Just can't win no matter what.
at
August 12, 2025
It's been bad for weeks now and I can barely even more or walk. I get about 2 hours in the morning where the agitation is still mild and bearable, and then after that I'm in all sorts of tortures in my brain and occipitals and neck area, especially for any minute that I tilt my head downwards. And when I lay down, the tremors and muscle spasms are insane - feels like the whole head/neck/shoulder area is just throbbing and freaking out. Tying to "wait it out" but I might try some more self-massage or maybe stretches (I was previously going to avoid stretches and did strength exercises instead, now I wonder if that was the wrong choice. I feel like this is an endless loop.)
at
July 20, 2025
I'm just in a bad mood so I'll make it quick. In the last week, things got bad again (maybe I agitated something with some exercises I was trying, idk) and walking became torture again. It just causes horrible feelings and agitations all related to my neck and occipitals. I get this horrible feeling that I now call "the death feeling" which literally feels so unexplainably terrible and it feels like I could just die at any moment - the most I had it was last December. This past week it got pretty bad and it hasn't been this bad since December. So yeah I can't walk much for now. Even if I try to walk pretty slow, things might still get so bad that I literlly feel like I'm going to explode from agitation.
I still have the "itchiness" in my "muscles" (mostly spine area) but it's calmed down a bit in my back. Still there, but it gets mostly bad in my neck area now.
Not sure if I mentioned the "bubbly" sensations in my back, started about 3 months ago or more. I had a theory that maybe my heating pad thing started causing that since the heating pad gets smushed onto my back as I lay down, or anther theory that the bubbles are just from laying down too much? I often feel it the most after getting up from laying down, or breathing in. It feels like bubbles kind of go through my back muscles - sometimes only my right side. I couldn't find much online. Some people had similar stuff. Other people had something like it but inside the spine, which is not what I have.
I still have the resting tremors that started in September - they only calmed down during long periods of me not doing much for weeks, but since I'm most active now in the summer, they're back (along with the buzzing feeling throughout my body).
My neck and occipitals are so achey. My dizziness hasn't been great lately - a lot of having to dim my screens again. Same with the light sensitivity.
It never ends.
Oh and my Doctor didn't wanna give me a referral to the Rheumatologist - he says they don't even give out a Fibromyalgia diagnosis and once again he pushed the pain clinic at me to discuss pain injections. I thought I could go to the pain clinic just to get some opinion on my symptoms, but once I had the appointment, I got a call from the clinic being all "you know we focus mostly on the pain injections, right?" Uh. Okay I didn't wanna waste my time or energy so I just cancelled that.
I think I'd like to see a "Physiatrist" (not to be misread as Psychiatrist) because at the very least I'd love to get some sort of specialist to tell me if I should rule out neck injury or not.
Anyway, I'm at the point where my business is no longer doing too well and I'm actually losing money every month now, so I'm starting to even wonder what my future could look like if I can't do much physical work and I can't do much computer work. But I really don't wanna lose my home because I love it, but the rent is so high. I feel like the thought of this just "slowly healing over time" kind of kept me going for a while, thinking I could get my life back eventually, but lately I don't feel like that will happen any time soon, or ever again.
I still have the "itchiness" in my "muscles" (mostly spine area) but it's calmed down a bit in my back. Still there, but it gets mostly bad in my neck area now.
Not sure if I mentioned the "bubbly" sensations in my back, started about 3 months ago or more. I had a theory that maybe my heating pad thing started causing that since the heating pad gets smushed onto my back as I lay down, or anther theory that the bubbles are just from laying down too much? I often feel it the most after getting up from laying down, or breathing in. It feels like bubbles kind of go through my back muscles - sometimes only my right side. I couldn't find much online. Some people had similar stuff. Other people had something like it but inside the spine, which is not what I have.
I still have the resting tremors that started in September - they only calmed down during long periods of me not doing much for weeks, but since I'm most active now in the summer, they're back (along with the buzzing feeling throughout my body).
My neck and occipitals are so achey. My dizziness hasn't been great lately - a lot of having to dim my screens again. Same with the light sensitivity.
It never ends.
Oh and my Doctor didn't wanna give me a referral to the Rheumatologist - he says they don't even give out a Fibromyalgia diagnosis and once again he pushed the pain clinic at me to discuss pain injections. I thought I could go to the pain clinic just to get some opinion on my symptoms, but once I had the appointment, I got a call from the clinic being all "you know we focus mostly on the pain injections, right?" Uh. Okay I didn't wanna waste my time or energy so I just cancelled that.
I think I'd like to see a "Physiatrist" (not to be misread as Psychiatrist) because at the very least I'd love to get some sort of specialist to tell me if I should rule out neck injury or not.
Anyway, I'm at the point where my business is no longer doing too well and I'm actually losing money every month now, so I'm starting to even wonder what my future could look like if I can't do much physical work and I can't do much computer work. But I really don't wanna lose my home because I love it, but the rent is so high. I feel like the thought of this just "slowly healing over time" kind of kept me going for a while, thinking I could get my life back eventually, but lately I don't feel like that will happen any time soon, or ever again.
at
June 15, 2025
It's been a while since my last update!
So my muscles have still been achey and randomly painful. Still mostly my neck and upper shoulders (and sometimes my arms and back). A tender area that has basically been bad for like 15 months now is the back of my neck and right under the base of my skull (occipital muscles), and always worse on the right side. I bought a lacrosse ball and started going really hard on massaging my occipitals. I sort of thought I need to "massage the painful areas out" like the Chiropractor did, but I overdid it. I damaged something and it made the entire back and side of my head have a weird "numb" feeling which was sooo uncomfortable and weird. It's been maybe over a month since I did that, and it's gradually improving and the numbness is about 85-90% gone now I think. I'm glad it wasn't permanent. But yeah, when I did that, it once again flared up all of the occipital muscles all over my head and scalp and ruined my life for like a week. There was a day where I could barely leave my bed because any time I moved my head a little, it felt like my brain was about to EXPLODE. So yeah, that sucked, and I definitely won't be going THAT hard on self-massage again...
All of my occipitals, neck muscles, shoulders, etc. are still incredibly tender and achey, which never seems to end. I just want to constantly massage all the aches, but then my arms get so exhausted.
And in the last couple of weeks, my back muscles got so messed up. Almost every day between 3pm-6pm they would start feeling so... itchy and tender and like they're crying out, so I would basically explain it as "my muscles are crying". I've been thera-caning my back every day, trying to make it improve. I had this "itchy" stuff with my shoulders and neck too, sort of on and off. I think a lot of the "itchy muscles" sensation is often linked to Fibromyalgia online. So I don't know. At this point my theories still are: neck injury, or neck instability (since it doens't seem to be getting much better), or some sort of muscle problem that started in my neck (could explain it traveling down my back and arms).
I might try to see a Rheumatologist after all.
So my muscles have still been achey and randomly painful. Still mostly my neck and upper shoulders (and sometimes my arms and back). A tender area that has basically been bad for like 15 months now is the back of my neck and right under the base of my skull (occipital muscles), and always worse on the right side. I bought a lacrosse ball and started going really hard on massaging my occipitals. I sort of thought I need to "massage the painful areas out" like the Chiropractor did, but I overdid it. I damaged something and it made the entire back and side of my head have a weird "numb" feeling which was sooo uncomfortable and weird. It's been maybe over a month since I did that, and it's gradually improving and the numbness is about 85-90% gone now I think. I'm glad it wasn't permanent. But yeah, when I did that, it once again flared up all of the occipital muscles all over my head and scalp and ruined my life for like a week. There was a day where I could barely leave my bed because any time I moved my head a little, it felt like my brain was about to EXPLODE. So yeah, that sucked, and I definitely won't be going THAT hard on self-massage again...
All of my occipitals, neck muscles, shoulders, etc. are still incredibly tender and achey, which never seems to end. I just want to constantly massage all the aches, but then my arms get so exhausted.
And in the last couple of weeks, my back muscles got so messed up. Almost every day between 3pm-6pm they would start feeling so... itchy and tender and like they're crying out, so I would basically explain it as "my muscles are crying". I've been thera-caning my back every day, trying to make it improve. I had this "itchy" stuff with my shoulders and neck too, sort of on and off. I think a lot of the "itchy muscles" sensation is often linked to Fibromyalgia online. So I don't know. At this point my theories still are: neck injury, or neck instability (since it doens't seem to be getting much better), or some sort of muscle problem that started in my neck (could explain it traveling down my back and arms).
I might try to see a Rheumatologist after all.
at
April 29, 2025
Since I have so many symptoms, it's impossible to find somebody else with the same exact situation as me, but I often research small groups of my symptoms, and here is a list of posts or resources that have been interesting to me and possibly related to my own problems:
r/cervical_vertigo
https://www.reddit.com/r/cervical_vertigo/comments/1jie3dh/looking_for_answers/
https://www.reddit.com/r/cervical_vertigo/comments/1mnedw4/dizziness_and_neck_pain_weeks_after_getting_hair/
https://www.reddit.com/r/cervical_vertigo/comments/1knz7bd/finally_can_give_a_recovery_post_90_better_29f/
r/CervicalInstability
https://www.reddit.com/r/Cervicalinstability/comments/1lso8is/24_losing_myself_to_severe_brain_fog_neck_pain/
r/Concussion
https://www.reddit.com/r/Concussion/comments/10ekkj4/thoughts_on_neck_injury/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Concussion/comments/hz1v3a/get_your_neck_checked_out_if_youre_having/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Concussion/comments/195eaap/dont_underestimate_how_important_your_neck_is_to/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Concussion/comments/14juvkj/anyone_got_tremors_from_a_very_mild/
r/PostConcussion
https://www.reddit.com/r/PostConcussion/comments/1ir07d8/stores_still_get_you/
https://www.reddit.com/r/PostConcussion/comments/10t2oog/overstimulated_af/
r/Dizziness
https://www.reddit.com/r/Dizziness/comments/req9jg/rocking_dizziness_success_story/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Dizziness/comments/tqmkm8/dizzinesslightheadednessbrainfog_that_is_nonstop/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Dizziness/comments/1c7fbw9/dizziness_triggered_by_driving_walking_outside/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Dizziness/comments/176wp8k/dizziness_from_neck_musclesmisalignment/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Dizziness/comments/k74bef/i_found_my_answer_to_my_dizziness_after_years_of/
r/OccipitalNeuralgia
https://www.reddit.com/r/Occipitalneuralgia/comments/1369ngq/treating_dizziness_caused_by_neck_issues_and/
r/ChronicPain
https://www.reddit.com/r/ChronicPain/comments/1b1vuwo/daily_neck_stiffness_with_grinding_sounds_please/
https://www.reddit.com/r/ChronicPain/comments/l8ef1t/how_i_fixed_1yr_of_chronic_neck_pain_chronic/
https://www.reddit.com/r/ChronicPain/comments/ci7b22/occipital_neuralgia_whats_worked_for_me_journal/
https://www.reddit.com/r/ChronicPain/comments/19ao4ug/frustrated_and_want_to_be_pain_free_possible/
r/visualsnow
https://www.reddit.com/r/visualsnow/comments/o998bc/how_i_recovered_from_visual_snow_it_really_is/
https://www.reddit.com/r/visualsnow/comments/17ropq5/unsure_whats_happening_after_a_rollercoaster/
r/POTS
https://www.reddit.com/r/POTS/comments/1biqsad/does_anyone_experience_supermarket_syndrome/
r/BinocularVision
https://www.reddit.com/r/BinocularVision/comments/17dtxq0/my_medical_path_to_getting_diagnosed_with_bvd/
r/Fibromyalgia
https://www.reddit.com/r/Fibromyalgia/comments/138qzdl/muscles_are_vibrating/
r/dysphagia
https://www.reddit.com/r/dysphagia/comments/pku5ds/spinal_issues_dysphagia_awareness/
r/MuscleTwitch
https://www.reddit.com/r/MuscleTwitch/comments/15mx07k/i_had_muscle_twitching_for_almost_two_years_and_i/
r/BFS
https://www.reddit.com/r/BFS/comments/iw4y7x/internal_tremorvibration_all_over_upon_waking/
r/TBI
https://www.reddit.com/r/TBI/comments/1c3mycn/body_tremors_rythtmic_shaking_when_asleep/
Other Sites
https://www.bostonglobe.com/2024/03/12/lifestyle/supermarket-syndrome-inner-ear/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njJ8M8uCx7A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTunvEXiSX4
https://www.webmd.com/migraines-headaches/occipital-neuralgia-symptoms-causes-treatments
https://centenoschultz.com/craniocervical-instability-and-vagus-nerve-compression/
https://moyerwellness.com/the-link-between-neck-pain-and-respiratory-issues/
r/cervical_vertigo
https://www.reddit.com/r/cervical_vertigo/comments/1jie3dh/looking_for_answers/
https://www.reddit.com/r/cervical_vertigo/comments/1mnedw4/dizziness_and_neck_pain_weeks_after_getting_hair/
https://www.reddit.com/r/cervical_vertigo/comments/1knz7bd/finally_can_give_a_recovery_post_90_better_29f/
r/CervicalInstability
https://www.reddit.com/r/Cervicalinstability/comments/1lso8is/24_losing_myself_to_severe_brain_fog_neck_pain/
r/Concussion
https://www.reddit.com/r/Concussion/comments/10ekkj4/thoughts_on_neck_injury/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Concussion/comments/hz1v3a/get_your_neck_checked_out_if_youre_having/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Concussion/comments/195eaap/dont_underestimate_how_important_your_neck_is_to/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Concussion/comments/14juvkj/anyone_got_tremors_from_a_very_mild/
r/PostConcussion
https://www.reddit.com/r/PostConcussion/comments/1ir07d8/stores_still_get_you/
https://www.reddit.com/r/PostConcussion/comments/10t2oog/overstimulated_af/
r/Dizziness
https://www.reddit.com/r/Dizziness/comments/req9jg/rocking_dizziness_success_story/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Dizziness/comments/tqmkm8/dizzinesslightheadednessbrainfog_that_is_nonstop/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Dizziness/comments/1c7fbw9/dizziness_triggered_by_driving_walking_outside/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Dizziness/comments/176wp8k/dizziness_from_neck_musclesmisalignment/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Dizziness/comments/k74bef/i_found_my_answer_to_my_dizziness_after_years_of/
r/OccipitalNeuralgia
https://www.reddit.com/r/Occipitalneuralgia/comments/1369ngq/treating_dizziness_caused_by_neck_issues_and/
r/ChronicPain
https://www.reddit.com/r/ChronicPain/comments/1b1vuwo/daily_neck_stiffness_with_grinding_sounds_please/
https://www.reddit.com/r/ChronicPain/comments/l8ef1t/how_i_fixed_1yr_of_chronic_neck_pain_chronic/
https://www.reddit.com/r/ChronicPain/comments/ci7b22/occipital_neuralgia_whats_worked_for_me_journal/
https://www.reddit.com/r/ChronicPain/comments/19ao4ug/frustrated_and_want_to_be_pain_free_possible/
r/visualsnow
https://www.reddit.com/r/visualsnow/comments/o998bc/how_i_recovered_from_visual_snow_it_really_is/
https://www.reddit.com/r/visualsnow/comments/17ropq5/unsure_whats_happening_after_a_rollercoaster/
r/POTS
https://www.reddit.com/r/POTS/comments/1biqsad/does_anyone_experience_supermarket_syndrome/
r/BinocularVision
https://www.reddit.com/r/BinocularVision/comments/17dtxq0/my_medical_path_to_getting_diagnosed_with_bvd/
r/Fibromyalgia
https://www.reddit.com/r/Fibromyalgia/comments/138qzdl/muscles_are_vibrating/
r/dysphagia
https://www.reddit.com/r/dysphagia/comments/pku5ds/spinal_issues_dysphagia_awareness/
r/MuscleTwitch
https://www.reddit.com/r/MuscleTwitch/comments/15mx07k/i_had_muscle_twitching_for_almost_two_years_and_i/
r/BFS
https://www.reddit.com/r/BFS/comments/iw4y7x/internal_tremorvibration_all_over_upon_waking/
r/TBI
https://www.reddit.com/r/TBI/comments/1c3mycn/body_tremors_rythtmic_shaking_when_asleep/
Other Sites
https://www.bostonglobe.com/2024/03/12/lifestyle/supermarket-syndrome-inner-ear/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njJ8M8uCx7A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTunvEXiSX4
https://www.webmd.com/migraines-headaches/occipital-neuralgia-symptoms-causes-treatments
https://centenoschultz.com/craniocervical-instability-and-vagus-nerve-compression/
https://moyerwellness.com/the-link-between-neck-pain-and-respiratory-issues/
at
April 21, 2025
Just an update. I've been trying to spend less time in bed lately but I'm also trying to take it easy at the same time, because every time I push myself a bit physically, it messes me up and makes me exhausted. A lot of my days are short: I might leave my bed around 10/11 am and sometimes I'm completely exhausted by 6 - 9 pm and can't do much else.
Anyway, the past few months was pretty bad for the dizziness in some ways (mostly supermarkets, restaurants, car rides, and stores have been extra triggering and lead to panic attacks or near attacks). However, the past week, the dizziness has been the lowest its been in a while. But in exchange, I have a lot of neck pains and my occipital muscles (well, my entire scalp area I'd say) hurts so much. It's so tender and painful to massage, and it'll just be shooting random pains at me even during the day. And for a while now I'm reeeeally lucky if I can fall asleep without advil, because most nights my neck still keeps shooting me with pains and it just doesn't stop for hours until I give in and take an advil. Oh and some nausea too. The other day I was able to do stuff on my PC and I actually put my brightness up higher since my dizziness was low - but then I got soooooooo nauseous after.
Did I mention my neck still makes all sorts of cracking sounds constantly? It never ends. It's like 200 times a day, sometimes from the smallest of head movements. And sometimes it makes these horrible creaky grinding sounds like there is sand being ground between my head and my neck - how the x-ray and MRI didn't find anything is pretty insane to me based on what I feel and hear.
Maybe this year I can do that moving x-ray but I haven't even gotten myself to go find out the price of it yet because I feel like it'll be quite a lot.
Anyway, the past few months was pretty bad for the dizziness in some ways (mostly supermarkets, restaurants, car rides, and stores have been extra triggering and lead to panic attacks or near attacks). However, the past week, the dizziness has been the lowest its been in a while. But in exchange, I have a lot of neck pains and my occipital muscles (well, my entire scalp area I'd say) hurts so much. It's so tender and painful to massage, and it'll just be shooting random pains at me even during the day. And for a while now I'm reeeeally lucky if I can fall asleep without advil, because most nights my neck still keeps shooting me with pains and it just doesn't stop for hours until I give in and take an advil. Oh and some nausea too. The other day I was able to do stuff on my PC and I actually put my brightness up higher since my dizziness was low - but then I got soooooooo nauseous after.
Did I mention my neck still makes all sorts of cracking sounds constantly? It never ends. It's like 200 times a day, sometimes from the smallest of head movements. And sometimes it makes these horrible creaky grinding sounds like there is sand being ground between my head and my neck - how the x-ray and MRI didn't find anything is pretty insane to me based on what I feel and hear.
Maybe this year I can do that moving x-ray but I haven't even gotten myself to go find out the price of it yet because I feel like it'll be quite a lot.
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March 30, 2025
I feel like I'll never "heal" from this, because there are so many symptoms and types of aches / pains / discomforts that are still the exactly same things I had a year ago. Why are they not getting better? I don't know.
All I do know is that a year in, I've at least found ways to take advantage of some good hours sometimes and get more things done, but once again I have to be very selective about it. The other day I played this browser game for an hour and I made my screen a little brighter, and that horrible dizziness feeling was sooo bad after. I had actually forgotten how bad it used to be, how horribly "agitating" and intense it is, ugh. It put me in the worst state of mind so quickly.
As long as I stay a vampire hermit and keep my screens dim, I can keep surviving, for now... but I can't have my life be like this forever.
All I do know is that a year in, I've at least found ways to take advantage of some good hours sometimes and get more things done, but once again I have to be very selective about it. The other day I played this browser game for an hour and I made my screen a little brighter, and that horrible dizziness feeling was sooo bad after. I had actually forgotten how bad it used to be, how horribly "agitating" and intense it is, ugh. It put me in the worst state of mind so quickly.
As long as I stay a vampire hermit and keep my screens dim, I can keep surviving, for now... but I can't have my life be like this forever.
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